Taxi Maxi - Taxi Jokes
Taxi Maxi  949-945-8949 - Minimum Rates, Maximum Convenience

American tourist hailed a taxi in Mayfair, London and asked the cabbie to be taken to Buckingham Palace. On the way, a car zoomed by and the tourist responded, 'Oh! Cadillac - Made in the USA! Very fast!' Not too long afterward, another car flew by the taxi. 'Ah! Chevrolet - Made in the US of A! Very fast!' Yet another car zipped by, and the tourist said, 'Buick - Made in the USA! Lightning quick!' The taxi driver, who was 100% London Cockney, was starting to get a little annoyed that the American made cars were passing him, when what should happen but yet another car passed the taxi as they were turning into Birdcage Walk. 'Oh! Lexus - Made in the USA! Very rapid!' The taxi driver stopped the car outside Buckingham Palace and pointing to the meter, and said, 'That'll be £100.' '£100? It was so short a ride! Why so much?' The Taxi driver smiled as he replied, 'Meter - Made in England. Very fast.
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   Three men were drunk and they stopped a taxi..... the taxi driver figured that they were not in their, he just switched on the engine and switched it off and told them : "we have arrived"
The first man gave him money.....
The second one thanked the taxi driver.
The taxi driver was stunned because he was hoping that none of them had realized that the car didn't move an inch.....but he faked surprise and asked the third man:"what was that for?"
The drunk man replied: "control your speed next time,!!!
you nearly killed us!!!"
   A drunk lady leapt into a taxi stark naked. Sachin, the Indian taxi driver made no attempt to drive off.
"What's wrong with you Luv, haven't you ever seen a naked woman before?"
"I'll not be staring at you lady, I am telling you, that would not be proper, where I am coming from..."
"Well, if you're not bloody staring at me Luvie, what are you doing then?"
"Well, I am looking and looking, and I am thinking and thinking to myself, where is this lady keeping the money to be paying me with?!"
  A Taxi driver and a Priest die and knock on heaven's door. St-Peter shows the Taxi driver his new home, a lavish Castle fully equipped with butlers and servants. When the priests turn comes, he is shown a meager Hut with no electricity or water. The priest complains to St-Peter: "How is it the Taxi driver gets a Castle and I only got this small Hut? I 've been working for Jesus all my life, not him.". St-Peter responded: "Yes you were working for Jesus, but during your Sunday sermons everybody slept. When the Taxi driver rode with clients, they prayed."!!!!
taxi sign
A guy in a taxi wanted to speak to the driver so he leaned forward and tapped him on the shoulder.
The driver screamed, jumped up in the air and yanked the wheel over. The car mounted the curb, demolished a lamppost and came to a stop inches from a shop window.
The startled passenger said "I didn't mean to frighten you, just wanted to ask you something."
Taxi driver says "Not your fault Sir. It's my first day as a cab driver, I've been driving a hearse for the past 25 years".
taxi sign
An old couple is in a taxi in America.
The taxi driver says "So which part of England are you folks from?"
The old man replies "From Yorkshire"
The old lady says "What did he say?"
The old man says "He asked which part of England we are from and I said Yorkshire"
The taxi driver says "I've been to orkshire once. I stayed with an old couple. The woman was horrible, a right bitch, it put me off going to England forever."
The old lady says "What did he say?"
The old man says "I think the driver knows you!"
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